No Longer Matters

IMG_1088
April 18th, 2012
|

I want to give you the life you never had or thought was possible. I want to laugh with you…to play air guitar to Madonna songs in bowling alleys. I want to take care of you…to tuck you in when you’ve gotten too drunk on Superbowl Sunday. I want to listen to you…and sit at late night diners and talk about family secrets and our childhoods. I want to rock out with you…and sit in the car drunk at 3am listening to old school jams like “yo!!! Remember THIS?!”…as if we have all the time in the world. Weirdos, lol. I want to be proud of you…proud that you’re my baby and tell you constantly. I want to look out for you…and be there when you are in trouble to show my support. I want to hold you…and sleep in the nook of your body, feeling small and protected by your arms with that huge leg wrapped around me. I want to wake up with you…to the sounds of your breathing or the radio that’s way too loud. I want advice from you…because I’m impressed by your intelligence and know that together we could be a force. I want to be quiet with you…because we both appreciate those peaceful moments when we can get away from our crazy day-to-day. I want to understand you…because you’ve been through a lot and so many only see you for what you do and not who you are. I want to be honest with you…because you are honest with me but still try to protect me from knowing too much or being too harsh. I want to surprise you..and spend days and days looking for the perfect birthday present, because to me you are special…and something not special just won’t do. I want to be cool with you…watch ESPN and throw some beers back with you over cool convo at the local spot. I want to be real with you…and keep it 100 that trying to stay in the same place, doing the same things won’t stop life from happening. That there is a beautiful new chapter waiting to be read and that you should strive to be better than your crew and your rep. I want to be vulnerable with you…and keep proving to you just how special you are to me even when you are getting scared, getting cold and pushing me away. I want to be loyal to you…and let you know that I have no desire to share myself with others because I not only think too much of you, but too much of myself. That I’m sacred and special and you are as well and everyone shouldn’t get to have a piece of that. But I did all of that…and we didn’t end up us. Didnt even try. We ended up you and I. And while you and I will always be fine…it won’t be us. Two fishes swimming in opposite directions stand less of a chance when the tide is high. I want the fish who will swim with me. That’s the thing about wants…if both don’t want it, it no longer matters.

Comments are closed.

Leave a comment:

Comments Closed